Why fansigns are a special kind of torture

I think there's a fair amount of interest for fansigns and how it is we get into them. I should disclaim myself now by saying; please don't be surprised if this post puts you off the idea of fansigns forever.

So if everything works out in your favor a SHINee fansign could be the greatest experience of your life. I'm not even joking. SHINee are really, at the end of the day, just 5 dudes but when you spend such a huge chunk of your time gazing with abject wonder at their beautiful glowing visage on twitter, seeing the real thing is a sensory overload like nothing has ever prepared you for. So you can just imagine what talking to them is going to be like.

STEP 1. The announcement

So at the time of a promotion SM staff will post a notice on shinee.smtown.com If you click on the tab that says 'Notices' that is where you will find it. On that notice you will find 3 very important things.

1. the location of the store where you must buy SHINee's CDs in order to be in the running. You can't just rock up at any CD store and buy SHINee's album.

2. the time period within which you must buy the cd's. You can get anywhere from 5 days to as little as just 1 day to haul ass to the correct store and buy your CDs.

3. which cd you need to buy (for Everybody this is pretty obvious but I think for Lucifer there was a CD ver A and B and only one counted...maybe?)

Once you have all this information picked out (this can be hard given notices are written entirely in Korean) you need to decide whether the fansign is even worth trying for. For every 1 CD you buy, you get 1 entry into a lottery. Usually 100, sometimes 150, people are chosen at random by a computer. Obviously the more CDs you buy, the better chance you have at getting into the fansign. And fansigns get harder and harder to win when a groups fandom is only growing, like SHINee's. So when you want to enter the draw, there are some things to consider.

1. The time and location of the fansign. If the fansign is going to be held at 12 o'clock on a Monday you're going to have a much better chance at getting in than if it's late in the evening or on a weekend. Weekend's are the worst because people who live outside of Seoul or even outside of Korea are able to come in for the fansign. Japanese fans are notorious for flying in for fansigns. You really really want to avoid trying for a fansign where a lot of Japanese fans are trying to get in. I don't know, the Yen must be crazy strong because they all seem to be able to buy 30+ CDs each. Every single fansign I've ever been to there have been at least 30%+ Japanese fans. They have crazy buying power bro.

Fansigns are usually on evenings or Weekends, but very occasionally there will be one at 4 o'clock which is just slightly too early for most people to get out of work. Similarly fansigns in central Seoul are the hardest to get into, but the further you get out of Seoul and into nearby cities like Incheon and Goyang, it get's slightly easier. Go out to fansigns in Busan or Daegu or more obscure areas it becomes easier again. Because there are less people able to get to the location and therefore less competition.

2. How far into the promotional run is it? If SHINee have had 20 fansigns and everyone's bank account is completely wiped clean from previous fansigns than you're going to have a better chance at getting in! (Or if they're broke from buying musical tickets; Key was doing Bonnie and Clyde during Everybody so a lot of Little Freaks were totally broke). This is a little risky because you never know exactly how many fansigns SHINee are going to hold per promotion period.

3. How many CDs can you afford? A SHINee cd can cost anywhere from roughly $10 USD to about $23 USD depending which one you're talking about. Some people will literally buy 50-60 CDs to try and ensure their spot in a fansign. The most I've ever bought was 30 and that was with a lot of friends being angels and offering to buy CDs from me. Thankfully I got in for that one or I would have died. Financially...fansigns are the most ridiculous thing that will ever happen to your bank account. Worse than all that sinfully pretty merch SM insists on putting out. Because with a fansign there's always a huge chance you'll have bought all those albums and you get nothing but the satisfaction of knowing you helped SHINee's cd sales in a huge way. 

4. If all SHINee member's are going to be present. When the notice goes up, it sometimes specifically says only 4 members will be present. In the case of Everybody Minho only attended 1 fansign because he was filming his drama. Key missed a bunch because of his musical and Onew missed a few because he had some minor neck problems at the time and needed rest. A fansign is going to be a lot easier to get into if members are missing but... if your favourite person is missing you might want to wait for a fansign where he is going to be there.

5. How far into the depths of madness you're willing to descend. Fansigns are not a cheap hobby. My mum once embarrassingly compared a fansign to gambling. During Everybody when I was desperate to get into a fansign and I wasn't having any luck she said it was like I had a gambling addiction. And in a way she's right. Fansigns are a huge gamble. You could buy 80 albums and still, amazingly, inexplicably, not get in. I knew a girl once who bought ONE album and got in by some miracle. It is totally up to fate and while some people swear there are cheats, I don't know that I've ever heard one I believe.

TLDR: if you want to go for a fansign, make sure you save money first. Seriously. You might be lucky on just 5 CDs but if you want to ensure success; the more CDs the better. And think about it this way: You're helping SHINee out on the sales charts ^.^

SIDENOTE: If you're looking to get into a fansign for any other SM Artist, they all work exactly the same. However I would never EVER recommend trying for an EXO fansign. SHINee girls might buy 50 at the most but there are EXO fans who will buy HUNDREDS of CDs. If you want to try your luck, seriously, go for it. But I wouldn't recommend it ^.^;;;

Step 2. The waiting

On the original notice there will be a time and website where they will release a list of the winners. They generally black out the middle of your name and just post the first and last letters as well as the last 4 digits of your phone number. In the case of SHINee fansigns if the event is closed there will be two lists. A winners list and a watching list. If you're a winner you get to take your album on up to SHINee and all your dreams are about to come true. If you're watching it means you are a runner up and you can sit...in the audience....and watch 100 lucky girls get signatures. You can't get one yourself. You just get to watch....yay! I guess?

While you wait for the list to be posted expect a lot of nausea and panic attacks and a lot of time to contemplate your life choices. It's also nearly never posted when they say they're going to post it. All the better to give you a minor heart problem with my dear.

If you get in, Congratulations you're half way there and got through the more difficult part. There's still a lot more pain to come. 

If you don't get in...well don't do what I did: curl up and watch Key fancams. It's an especially bad idea to sit and watch fancams of Key crying. Really, don't do that. It's not at all helpful or healthy. Maybe get a voodoo doll or something?

Step 3. Surviving SHINee's extreme physical beauty (you might need protective goggles)

Before you even get to meet SHINee though there are a few things you need to remember.

1. An outfit. Please please please PLEASE don't turn up at a fansign dressed in your comfiest pair of jeans and no mascara. Trust me, you will feel like absolute crap next to some of the 1000% dolled up girls around you. I'm not saying hire a ball gown but....put some thought into how you present yourself. It'll make you feel a lot a better and you'll have so many things to think about at that point that you really don't need anything else to worry about.

2. Which page you want who to sign. Fansigns are super fast-paced events. The manager's are butt-holes and desperate to keep SHINee on schedule so they don't allow any hesitation. Don't waste time fumbling trying to find the page you want SHINee to sign. Have a post it with their name marking what page you want them to sign otherwise you might end up with Jonghyun signing a picture of Taemin and kind of judging you a little.

3. Know what you want to say to SHINee. Have at least an idea of what you want to tell them. It would be ideal if you could get someone to translate what you want to say into Korean and then practice like a madwoman but if that's not an option try and speak super simple English or even Japanese. SHINee are pretty intelligent guys so they'll probably get what you mean. Also consider writing a letter or gifting them something small and thoughtful. You don't need to give them something big and expensive. The little things are also super appreciated from what I've seen. Also...try and avoid giving them fandom cliche's. If I was Taemin I would want to vomit at the sight of banana milk at this point. He's been given so many cartons of the stuff over the years he probably regrets the day he ever laid eyes on the stuff ^.^

Don't waste this opportunity: you might only get one shot and you DO NOT WANT any regrets.

4. Don't get your hopes up too high. Don't build up these huge expectations. Unfortunately managers really are butt-holes and will try and cut your time off with SHINee as quickly as they can. SHINee will chat with you and smile and answer questions as best they can but once they're done signing, the manager is straight up in your face trying to flick you on. Also don't....expect Taemin to get down on one knee and profess his undying love for you. Or any of the boys too. Take the experience for what it is and don't expect anything. It will make the experience a lot fresher and easier for you, trust me.

And finally some big DO NOT's

1. Don't put little notes or post it notes in your albums for SHINee to read. Some other fandoms might allow it, but fanstaff will remove any post-its from your album if they see them.

2. Don't take photos if you're in the area for fansign winners. At an open event there's going to be hundreds of people taking photos in the surrounding area, but if you got into the fansign you are not allowed to take photos or video footage. 

3. If you want to hold SHINee's hand or handshake, ask first. At some events the managers will allow it and at others they won't. Take cues to save SHINee from some awkward situations. If you see no one else doing it or other people being rejected, don't ask SHINee if you can. There's nothing more awkward for the poor boys than having to say no to their fangirls requests because they've been told to by managers.

IN CONCLUSION fansigns are both the greatest evil known to fangirl kind and one of the greatest joys. I might write about my personal fansign experiences. Anyone interested? Also, question: how far would you be willing to go to get into a fansign?

EDIT: I wrote a fan account a few months ago during the To Heart promotions mentioning that at a recording Woohyun and Key asked members of the audience who was coming to the To Heart fansign that was scheduled later that night. Not many people raised their hands saying they were going. I should have specified that they were asking who had won entry into the fansign. I recently stumbled across a forum where my fan account had been posted and some people were under the impression that people were willingly not going. They seemed to assume people at the recording were shunning Key or Woohyun or something by not going. I hope this post clears some of those misconceptions up. EVERYONE wants to go to a fansign; only a handful of people per fansign are lucky enough to win a spot. I can assure you most people in that recording probably applied for the fansign.

Most of the reason I'm writing this blog is because I find so often my fan accounts get lost out of context when I just unleash them on twitter. There was literally a couple of pages of To Heart fans talking about how 'rude' the girls were for not going to the fansign when it was completely NOT by choice. I'm sure they all would have loved to meet Key and Woohyun if they could ^.^