To Heart and Taemin: why we shouldn't compare them

Apologies first up for this post in general because I'm frustrated and it's never a good idea to post anything when you're angry, but I guess it's too late now. Also I'm very aware that most people haven't engaged in comparing Taemin and Kibum so just enjoy the read in that case ^.^ I have a bit of time to sit down at a computer and I wanted to write this because it's something I feel like I'm in a really really good position to make comment on. I was in the really blessed and fortunate position that I was in between work contracts during the To Heart promotions earlier this year and the Kpop gods showed equal divine providence by blessing me with summer holidays the same time as Taemin's Danger promotions. So up until now I went to every single To Heart recording bar 1 and every single Taemin Danger recording bar 1. I missed an Inkigayo recording because there was someone being a total douchebag asshole and a lot of SHAWols didn't get to go in because that person caused so much trouble. I'll explain that more later though. And I didn't go to Taemin's Arirang recording last Monday morning because it was on the other side of the city, really really early and only allowed 100 people in.

So I've seen a lot of people commenting on how To Heart got a lot less love than Taemin's solo and the point I want to make, first and foremost, is that they are two entirely different things. Honestly, I'm going to speak about this from my side of things at recordings, which very well might have been a little different to how the support was distributed online via Tumblr/Twitter amonst English speakers. Honestly though I think the root of support can sometimes come from the Korean side of things. A lot of the posts you see going around on Tumblr and Twitter asking you to remember to hashtag and download and stream at certain places to help Taemin win on music shows are translated from Korean posts or written by someone with Korean speaking ability or with the help of someone who can read Korean. Also a lot of English speaking Korean fans will utilize their ability to explain things in English in order to gain the strength of the English speaking portion of our fandom. I think people have this idea that there's a very clean cut line between English speaking fans and Korean fans or I-fans vs. K-fans (I hate saying I vs. K because really the barriers in our fandoms are based on language so we should split fandom as English speaking fans, Chinese speaking fans, Korean speaking fans, Japanese speaking fans etc.) That's not always the case. As time goes on the language overlaps are beginning to blur the split between language groups within our fandom. So the reaction to To Heart vs. Danger within fandom in general as English speakers and Korean speakers might not be as different as we think.

First up I need to lay it out: I'm a Key fan. I have a huge OT5 love though. I was talking to my friend about this yesterday and I think there are 4 types of fans in general.

OT5 fans who loves every single member of SHINee and would rather cut off a limb than chose one

OT5 + bias fans who love every single member of SHINee but will choose 1 member slightly over the others.

개인팬 or a personal fan who likes just one member of SHINee and doesn't feel particularly strongly for any of the others

And there's this peculiar little group of people who love and adore 3 or 4 members of SHINee, sometimes even just two of them, and either hate or dislike the others. I mean...I don't want to judge anyone for how they fangirl but this confuses me hugely. How to hate any member of SHINee, seriously?

Anyway that was probably an unnecessary side blab, but I have to say I'm the OT5 + Key bias species of SHINee fangirl so I LOVED To Heart.  To Heart was one of the greatest things that ever happened to me...and one of the worst things that ever happened to me. 

I didn't write about this on twitter at the time of To Heart and I wasn't keeping a blog then. I've though about writing about it since, but figured it was best just to keep my mouth shut. But given what's being said about the Taemin vs. To Heart support levels I figured it might be a good idea to give everyone a little context. To Heart promotions were absolute hell. I was constantly tired and upset and stressed. 

I mentioned this briefly but the first week of To Heart promotions we had combined lines with Inspirits and SHAWols. Now lining up for recordings as a SHAWol sucks balls on a normal day. I don't have official membership which means even though more often than not I'm at the venue of recordings the day before to get my name on the waiting list, I will never ever go into a recording first because I don't have an official SHINee World membership and it is TOTALLY impossible to get one at this point in time. Now what this system means when you add Inspirits to the mix is that I, as an unofficial SHINee fan, was totally fucked. Inspirit fan membership opens every year. Every Inspirit and their dog has Inspirit membership. And every single girl that has a fanclub membership gets in first. Which means that if only a certain amount of fans get into the recording and the back half of the line is cut, there are going to be a small handful of SHINee fans outnumbered by the ocean of Infinite fans. And being cut is a constant worry when you go to recordings. It was our absolute worst nightmare to think of Kibum performing on stage without any fans to cheer for him. It made me sick to the stomach to imagine Key performing and only a handful of people cheering for him while hundreds of Inspirits scream and cheer for Woohyun. I had nightmares about it, it was such a terrible concept. 

Now the reason this worried me so much was because the Inspirits were not impressed by Key and Woohyun collaborating. If I'm honest, SHAWols weren't particularly impressed with the idea either. The best thing I can liken it too is something like Romeo and Juliet: they love each other and want to be together but both their families hate each other and think their child is too good for the other. Honestly I had no opinion about Woohyun before To Heart. I just thought of him as that kid that Kibum hangs out with. I didn't have any interest in Infinite's music or them, but I didn't actively dislike them either. I'm only human though and after being forced to spend time with Inspirits for weeks of recordings I can't stand to even look at Infinite now. The first recording I went to, I can't speak for the rest of the SHAWols but I was pumped and ready to cheer my lungs out. We were given the fanchant and there's a section at the end of the chorus where Key sings a line and we shout: KIM KIBUM and Woohyun sings a line and we shout NAM WOOHYUN. To my absolute horror when we went inside the Inspirits were absolutely shrieking their lungs out whenever Woohyun appeared and then falling silent when Key stepped forward. And then when it came to the part where we would shout Kibum and Woohyun's names, stupid naive little me, screamed KIM KIBUM and NAM WOOHYUN. The Inspirits kept their mouths stubbornly sealed shut for Kibum's name and screamed until their eyeballs were popping for Woohyun's name. Not only that but I over heard Inspirits calling SHAWols horrible names and even insulting Key. While they were standing in the studio. Now all this cheering is edited no doubt so the discrepencies no doubt don't come out in the broadcasts, but the important part was that if their was a marked difference in cheering, Key would hear it.

Don't get me wrong, SHAWols weren't impressed with Infinite either. But they didn't talk about it publicly. They didn't badmouth Woohyun where his fans could hear and in that first recording they cheered for Woohyun AND Key. I remember coming out of the studio and lining up again to go back in for the Tell Me Why recording later in the day. I was pretty upset and furious and there were a group of Inspirit girls in front of me that were laughing and showing each other photo shopped photos from the To Heart photoshoot where they'd edited Woohyun's face over Key's. I was so pissed off. I can take being insulted personally and I have more than I would ever have liked to, but seeing these stupid little girls talk shit about Key when they knew nothing about him made me so mad. When we went into the second recording, the SHAWols were so furious they screamed their lungs out for Key, stubbornly making sure Key's cheering was louder than Woohyun's. After that first weekend and a lot of subtle negotitating from the SHAWol's to the fanstaff, Woohyun and Key's lines were split so that Inspirits and SHAWols lined up separately. It made the recordings a little more bearable but there was still the constant rivalry which I will readily admit was not healthy, nor was it very mature of us. 

Inspirits automatically congregated on the right side of the studio and SHAWols would go left. We would make two single file lines and then go in side by side with an Inspirit. They would push and try and cut in front of me sometimes, but SHAWols around me would always ask the girls to step back into their place in line. Not everything was totally horrible though. I shouldn't paint it like all the Inspirits were evil and SHAWols were angels because that's certainly not how it was. I met a few Inspirits who would routinely find me whenever they got a Kibum photocard and trade me for any Woohyun cards I had. We would help each other find Kibum or Woohyun photocards from the different fan groups. There were a lot of sweet, kind girls amongst the Inspirits, who were unfortunately lumped with some bad seeds. I'm sure there were some SHAWols who were not particularly impressed with Inspirits who might have said or done something horrible, but I never saw it.

There was an incident a lot of you probably heard about where Kibum was coming out of a late night recording on Sunday night with Woohyun and the Inspirits waiting outside rushed Woohyun and shoved and pushed Key so he was thrown around and ended up forced against the side of the van before the manager could fight his way through the crazy and get to him. And SHAWols at the time were furious because while Kibum was being shoved around by crazy Inspirits (once again I should point out only the girls involved are guilty of this bs) they always hang back and allow Kibum enough room to move so none of them had moved forward or were able to protect him. There was also a few rumors that Woohyun was too busy smiling and waving and accepting fan letters to notice Key was in trouble, but I wasn't there so I'd hesitate to say this was the truth necessarily. All though from what I did see of Woohyun, he's unusually interactive with fans, to the point that it sometimes made it hard for PDs to get his attention when it was needed.

The crux of the situation was at one of the Sunday Inkigayo recordings where a large number of SHAWols were denied access to the recording because of an Inspirit. Since the lines were being split, it meant that there was always an equal amount of Key fans and Woohyun fans in the room. Which meant that Inspirit fan membership meant less and it was harder for the average Infinite fan to get at the beginning of the line. There were truly hundreds and hundreds of fans that came for To Heart. Maybe we didn't emphasize enough at the time but A LOT of Key fans would come to recordings. But a lot of Woohyun fans came as well and some of them figured it would be easier to get in via the Key line because very few people have official membership in SHINee. So they could add their name to the Key list and if they came early enough go in straight after the official SHAWols, who numbered much less than the unofficial SHAWols. Some of them even had old SHAWol official cards from when SHINee debuted. Our fan staff aren't stupid though so they began doing checks of people's phones to make sure you weren't lying and using the SHINee line. They would check galleries and make sure that there were SHINee pictures in there and not Infinite. 

Anyway earlier in the week at KBS they'd had an open Sukira concert that To Heart had performed at. The event was ticketed and you were forbidden from taking photos but....since when has that ever stopped the fan sites OTL? A Woohyun fan was caught taking photos, I don't know if she was a fansite or just a fan, but she was kicked from the venue and apparently caused a huge commotion while she was at it. This same fan showed up in the SHINee line. Now I'm not too sure about this, but what I was hearing was that she was a former SHINee fan. She'd applied for official membership in 2009 and since moved onto the Infinite fandom. But obviously she dug her old SHAWol membership out to try and get further up the line and therefore closer to the stage. She was recognized and asked to leave the SHAWol line by our fanstaff. She proceeded to cause a huge commotion, screaming and insisting she was a SHAWol. She refused to leave or move to the Infinite line and harassed our fanstaff continuously. Eventually it came time for SHAWols to enter the venue and because of the huge commotion caused by this girl, security got frustrated and only allowed 50 SHAWols into the room. From memory there were about 150 Inspirits. It was our worst nightmare come true. I was so upset because I was cut by only a few people and it was all because of 1 stupid, selfish Inspirit. 

On top of everything else, Inspirits were caught tweeting at Jonghyun afterwards, because there was so many bad feelings between SHAWols and Inspirits at this point, badmouthing SHAWols. I can't remember the exact tweets, but I remember one asking Jonghyun to take control of his SHAWol bitches or something equally horrible. Apparently the girl responsible for disrupting the line apologized via her twitter, but I didn't even care to read that crap. 

The next week at the Inkigayo recording was the infamous day that EXO fans were caught taking photos inside the live performance and lied and said they were SHAWols. We were almost banned from Kibum's last To Heart recording if our truly fearsome Key fansite girls hadn't tracked down exactly who the girls were and forced them to confess to being EXO fans. I won't get into that because it gives me a headache just thinking about it, but basically To Heart promos were a lot more stressful and horrid than they had to be. Add to that Inspirits and SHAWols have traditionally not gotten along ever. From what I've heard Inspirits were angry that SHINee got so much love and attention right from debut, while Infinite got a pretty average response to begin with this. Nevermind the online bad mouthing and general shittiness that went down throughout this entire period. 

This is why the K-fan side of things might not have been as invested in To Heart as they are in Taemin's solo. Nevermind the fact they don't like Woohyun, being forced to collaborate with an opposing fandom was what made the whole thing so stressful and dramatic. There was absolutely no warning they were going to drop that collaboration on us either other than rumors and Key had never expressed any desire to do a side music project so no one was mentally prepared for the shit show that ensued.

I know a lot of people who actively chose to not participate in To Heart promotions because they didn't approve of Woohyun but I've also heard a surprising amount of people express disapproval of Taemin's solo so we can't say that only Key suffered in that respect. Personally I greatly dislike Woohyun but that didn't stop me supporting Key and I also was very very nervous about the concept of a Taemin solo, but again that hasn't stopped me from killing myself to support him all week. I don't write all this to excuse anyone or to make Inspirits all look like evil demons, but I really do want people to understand how truly heinous To Heart promotions were to attend. Nevermind the completely awkward interaction I had with Woohyun at the fansign (I try to like him, I really do, but I think I'm just a horrible person or something because I can't).

As for the circumstance surrounding the To Heart promotions; Delicious from the album cover to the sound smelt of Woolim/Infinite. All the tracks had a very Infinite feel and for SHINee fans who are attracted to the SM/SHINee aesthetic it was a less digestible musical experience. Even the style of promotion stunk of Woolim. So to everyone pointing fingers at SM (as usual) the reason To Heart was promoted so differently from Danger, is because I strongly suspect Woolim was in charge of a lot of what To Heart did. The project was proposed by Woolim's side and so it makes sense that they would be responsible for the promotions. I also strongly suspect there was a lot of weird business politics involved in this venture because a SHINee(SM)/Infinite(Woolim) project collaboration popping up not long after SM buys out Woolim makes it hugely likely there was....something going down behind the scenes.

Furthermore anyone who's read a decent amount of SHINee interviews and followed them closely enough knows that Taemin's been really passionate about the idea of a solo for a long time and Kibum hasn't necessarily expressed the same desires. He said clearly during To Heart promotions that he and Woohyun did To Heart as a collaboration project to try something new and do something fun together. Key has also expressed desires to act in dramas and musicals and do variety programs. Kibum is a jack of all trades; he's completely phenomenal at everything he puts his mind too and works hard to be that way. He in some ways can be seen as a perfect Idol because he can do a wide variety of things very well. And Key, more than any member of SHINee, revels in the idol lifestyle. All evidence points to him enjoying trying new things and various projects and in a way, To Heart provided a launch pad for Kibum to move onto bigger and brighter things. The media coverage during To Heart was heavily focused on Key and he did well in various interviews and appearances to the point where he was cast on a slew of variety shows following To Heart, including his permanent MC spot on 별바라기. Kibum also seems to have found a passion for musicals which he's exploring a lot now. Not to mention his monthly Fashion shoot in Celebrity magazine.

SM on the other hand is 100% responsible for Taemin's project. It's an SM project that Jonghyun, Changmin and Kai at least were very actively involved in. Taemin worked his butt off to get that solo though and everyone knew it. So SM Town got behind him and the only reason this is super obvious is because Taemin debuted at SM Town. If To Heart had debuted at SM Town I'm sure Key would have gotten just as much love and support from his label mates as Taemin did. I've also heard people say it was sad because Key had to keep To Heart a secret, while Taemin shared his solo with everyone, but did anyone ever consider that Key keeping To Heart a secret might have been just a little bit fun for him? He got to do a secret company endorsed project on the side which he then got to spring on everyone in it's completion. It could have been really exciting and crazy to be able to do that. Who knows really, unless your name is Kim Kibum. What I want to know is why is it that people need to twist details to make them as negative and nefarious as they possibly can? I think sometimes the thirst for drama in fandom exceeds the desire to see SHINee do well. It's beyond frustrating. Furthermore Taemin has expressed an interest in composing and song writing which Key has expressed having little interest for in the past. Taemin wants to be acknowledged as a legitimate singer, while Kibum has expressed desires in expanding his horizons in multiple directions as an artist.

And the most important thing. From about To Heart onward is the happiest I have ever seen Kibum. I went to Why So Serious promotions and felt like I was being stabbed in the heart every time I saw him. I remember saying to my friends at the time: there's something wrong with Kibum, he's not his normal self, he's acting strangely. Sure enough later it came out that Kibum's mother was having severe health problems at the time among other things. By Everybody SHINee had spent an entire year promoting almost non stop. 3 promotions in one year is completely insane on top of the hundreds of other various schedules and concerts and appearances they did. Everybody promotions had their shining moments and were complete bliss to attend but there was no denying how exhausted SHINee were the entire time. Jonghyun was injured and missing during Why So Serious and Onew was injured during Everybody, which had to have had a negative effect on their mood as a team. I hear people say that 2014 has been boring and painful for SHINee fans compared to 2013 but 2014 has been a much better year for SHINee and their personal happiness and health. Kibum was completely ecstatic the whole time he did To Heart promotions. He was glowing and him and Woohyun really are the best of friends. The sight of Inspirits and yellow makes me want to gouge my eyes out most days now, but I would kill for Woohyun just because of how happy he made Kibum during those To Heart promos. I was also part of a huge group of dedicated fans who showed up for every single one of Key's promotions. I get kind of insulted when people say the fan support has been less for To Heart than Danger because we worked really hard at those promotions to make Kibum feel like a rockstar. I realize people might be talking about the online response but still....my bruised ego OTL.

The turn out for Taemin and Key has definitely been different in numbers but I think there's a really good reason Taemin has a better turn out. First of all there have been A LOT of Japanese fans at Taemin's promotions. Taemin is phenomenally popular in Japan and it's very easy for Japanese fans to fly over to Korea for promotions. Taemin also very rarely has activities that fans are able to attend. Key, on the other hand, has been doing musicals regularly for almost three years now. Taemin expressed very explicitly in an interview that he has been waiting to go solo for TEN YEARS. He also went to a fanmeeting and was so overwhelmed and touched at the support for his highly anticipated solo that he actually cried. Can you blame people for rallying behind that cause? There's an emotional pull to Taemin's solo that just didn't exist with Keys. Key never expressed that To Heart meant anything more to him than a collaboration project with a close friend. And To Heart did well. They didn't flop, that's for sure. 

Which is one of the reasons why it makes me completely furious when I see people whining about how unfair it is and how hard done by Kibum is because Taemin's getting all this attention for Danger promotions. 

Firstly Kibum loved every second of his To Heart promotions so I hate to see his experience cheapened in any way by anyone's silly bias hang ups. Because that's what it comes down to. Every single time we have some sort of special SHINee side project you see the same asinine whining on tumblr: ah it's not fair Taemin's having a solo, it should be Jonghyun/Onew. Omfg Key's doing a sub unit with Woohyun, wtf it should be Taemin, Omygosh Taemin took over Jonghyun's singing parts in the Japanese version of replay, i'm so butthurt and blinded by my bias I can't take a second to pull my head out of bias land and be happy for someone else in SHINee. You know what? If you went up to Key right now and said: 'ah, I'm so sorry, your To Heart album wasn't supported nearly as much as Taemin's on tumblr' he would probably look at you for a long second and say: 'What are you talking about? To Heart sold thousands of copies and SHAWols were clawing at each other to get into the To Heart fansigns...Every time I appeared at an event for To Heart there were girls practically killing each other to breathe the same air as me' (I mean he wouldn't say that exactly but....you get the idea)

Secondly, don't for a second think that Kibum isn't 10,000% behind Taemin in this solo. By implying that poor Kibum must be suffering so much because he's not getting as much attention, you're contextualizing his situation in comparison to Taemin's. It's completely stupid. In what way is To Heart and Taemin's solo promotions similar in any way? There is absolutely nothing contextually similar except for Key and Taemin's shared membership in SHINee and if you think for a second Kibum is sitting at home crying because Taemin's album is getting a different reaction to his, you're disturbingly undervaluing Key's character. You also can't mistake the online fan reaction for the general public's reaction. Unfortunately most of the public discourse about Taemin in the Korean media is still this ridiculous little Taemin fairy has become a man BS. In terms of the general public I would say that Danger and Delicious are getting pretty similar levels of support. Honestly knowing the Korean general public, they would go for Delicious over Danger any day because it's catchy and happy and everything that makes K-pop so popular, while Danger, like nearly everything SHINee comes out with, is a little left field for the straight laced consumer public.

I guess what I'm trying to say is: don't feel sorry for Kibum. And don't insult their work by comparing Taemin's solo and Kibum's To Heart. It's not necessary and quite frankly I feel ill at the idea of pitching SHINee against each other. They released musically completely different tracks, they were motivated differently, they worked with different people and had different prospective outcomes. So of course the reactions were going to be different. Of course they were going to evoke different emotions in fans. I know not many people are guilty of this but please don't do them the disservice of creating negativity between their fans, creating bad rumors and contaminating what To Heart and Taemin's solo are about. Because there is one thing both projects have in common: they were things that made Key and Taemin extremely, ridiculously, stupidly happy.

EDIT
Some people brought up the response to SM The Ballad from fans as well which I think is kind of a moot point seeing as SM The Ballad was clearly a money making gimmick from SM. I think people underestimate how in tune with SHINee's desires fans can be. Jonghyun was included in SM the Ballad not because he had a strong desire and passion for that sub unit. He was included as a convenient way to promote himself. Key was included in To Heart because SM and Woolim were newly merged and wanted to do a sub unit to experiment with it's marketability among other things. Also it was Woohyun who always expressed a greater attachment to To Heart, where as Key took it as the opportunity to do something new, showcase himself and have fun with his friend. He worked hard and he enjoyed it, but his emotional investment in To Heart was not particularly passionate. Key's passion is with SHINee and his musicals (boy is it with his musicals, Key is absolutely killing it in Zorro).

Taemin has been expressing his desire to do a solo project for awhile now and even mentioned he's waited 10 years for it to amount to something. I mentioned this before, but it's really such an important reason. Fans are in tune with SHINee's desires as much as is possible given the relationship that exists. They were completely aware of how much this Solo means to Taemin and how little To Heart and SM the Ballad mean in the long run.

Also I should note that most fans I met didn't really care one way or the other that Taeyeon was included in SM The Ballad. SNSD fans were well behaved and didnt cause us any trouble so there was no issues.