I'm hurt and annoyed. part 525

So I got an ask.fm question this morning and since there's a word limit I thought I'd throw it over here and write out an answer because I wanted to get really wordy about this since it....ignites passion in my soul to say the least.


Here's the question I got:
You and others like you who go to Korea to teach English, (when you probably know nothing about teaching in the first place), go there to follow idols around. It's kinda like what saesangs/stalkers do right?

Okay so this part is my personal story and a little bit of a bandaid for my wounded ego and not as important: 
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So I have to work really hard not to take a huge blow to my pride over this question. I'm going to assume this person is genuinely curious about the answer and the not trying to make me feel like crap and answer as nicely as I can.

So firstly, my personal situation is nothing like that. I knew I wanted to be an English teacher since my last year in High School. K-pop was what introduced me to Korea but I wouldn't say it was in any way a motivation for what I then chose to do with my life. I majored in Korean and Korean studies at University, I went on exchange to better learn Korean and I basically worked by butt off for 4 years at University in a Korean Studies degree because I knew it would be good for my future. I'm not an idiot. Studying Korean studies was just as strategic as it was about pursuing something I enjoy. I'm from Australia and some of our biggest trade partners include Japan, China and Korea. A lot of kids in Australia already speak Chinese and Japanese is a really popular language to study so my mentality was that learning to speak Korean would give me a leg up on the job market. And I knew that the only way to learn a language was to immerse myself, which meant living in Korea. The only way to do that as a foreigner is to be a teacher or a student. I did both of those things. And I worked really hard to do it. I had to study my butt off to be accepted as an exchange student, which is different from just paying to attend a language program here.


Also saying 'when you probably know nothing about teaching in the first place' is kind of mean, don't you think? But in any case, I studied intensively in TESOL and spent a lot of time tutoring and doing volunteer language exchange programs with foreign students at my university. I'm also an amazing English student if I do say so myself. It was my best subject and I studied University level English at High School. I by no means have a teachers degree, but I worked hard to build my skill set. Which is more than a lot of foreign teachers can say. ESL teaching as a foreigner in Asian countries precedes K-pop in popularity. Foreigners from all over the world with absolutely no skills in teaching take themselves to Japan, China, Korea etc and get well paid employment and then absolutely screw around. They drink in excess, go to school with hangovers and generally give foreigners a bad name. Now I'm not saying all foreigners teaching overseas are like that: on the contrary a huge portion of them are hard working, genuine, lovely people who care about their students. What I am saying is that all the k-pop fans I know who teach in Korea work their absolute asses off at work. Undermining what we do as teachers every day is really kind of shitty, given that teaching is hard. It's so hard. I've had kids fist fighting each other and thrown myself between them. I've spent time locked up in bathrooms with crying little girls, because some cruel little boy broke her heart. I've come before school and after school to help kids practice and compete in English contests. I've stayed well past my paid working hours planning and marking and grading. And that's what teachers do. I don't complain about it because there's a chance that a handful of my kids are going to come out of my classroom with a positive, healthy mindset to foreigners and a passion for English. Hell, even one kid who grows up positively influenced by my being their teacher would be enough for me. 

Being an English teacher wasn't a spur of the moment OPPAR I LUFF YOU bs trip. I worked at a goal that I desperately wanted to accomplish for 6 years and that's why I get a little upset when I get questions phrased like this. I genuinely care for my students and spend hours pulling my hair out trying to do right by them. I also never skip school to see SHINee. I have never neglected my job or work in any way to chase idols and I never will. Maybe my goal was too small or pointless in other people's eyes but teaching ESL in Korea was something I genuinely wanted from my life and I won't apologize for that. And it was in no way because I wanted to: 'go there to follow idols around'.

Also, I've already written a post about why not to teach in Korea already so....here
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Now to the important part of this discussion:

It's kinda like what saesangs/stalkers do right?

No

I do know people who have moved to Korea for SHINee. I do know students and teachers who have genuinely moved to Korea because they want to see idols. Is that crazy? Maybe. Should they be ashamed of that? No. Because it's their life and their life choices. I think you're dangerously confused about the difference between a stalker and a fan. I also think you don't realize how ridiculously offensive and blind it is to confuse what fangirls who live in Korea do with a stalker. Don't get me wrong, those two things can overlap. But they're not mutually exclusive. 

I have never and will never engage in any behavior that is that of a saesang fans. I actively and very loudly scorn that behavior online and offline. I never approach SHINee's house. I never go near them in their private time. I never go to the SM building. I have never made any attempt to follow SHINee or approach their hotel room. I have never even gone to Incheon or Gimpo airport to see them off even tough that's accepted fandom behavior. I go to recordings, concerts, musicals, fansigns, radio recordings etc all of which are open to the public and actively encourage fan participation. Everything I do is completely devoid of anything remotely stalker-y. Even if I had moved to Korea to participate in K-pop and Idol culture, that would not in any way make me a stalker. It might make me extremely passionate and prone to wild, rash life choices, but it does NOT make me or anyone like me a stalker.

Every single foreign fan I have ever made friends with here in Korea behaves in exactly the same manner as I do. There are foreign fans who are stalkers. There are foreign fans who do the wrong thing and come here and stalk SHINee or whoever and do things they shouldn't. But I am not one of those people and I would sooner pack my bags and go home before becoming one of those people or associating with them. Like I said earlier, I'm trying really hard not to get offended by the wording of this question but if I'm honest it makes me furious. It makes me so completely upset. 

As an add on to this; a little bit of a run off but related a little. I've been called some pretty awful things anonymously since I started writing fan accounts. I've had people accuse me of thinking I'm special because I live in Korea. People have told me to stop thinking I'm Korean and to get off my high horse. I've been accused of thinking Key's in love with me and called a fandom nazi and all sorts of horrible malicious things. I'm not even a big deal online and I'm certainly not the only one who get's treated this way anonymously online within fandom. It's a problem in our online community. We get these packs of girls who turn against one person or another and it's like they get the scent of blood. They just viciously tear people to pieces online and I honestly watching from the outside I hope that they're in a blood frenzy. I hope the people that go into people's ask.fms and leave cruel comments and horrible things are completely wrapped up in a blood frenzy and have no idea of the repercussions of their actions or how they make other people feel. Because otherwise we're dealing with some really cruel, twisted individuals. I highly doubt any of these people are reading here but: before you go into someone's ask.fm and leave vicious troll comments, maybe think about how you'd feel if someone said that to you. Maybe it's the teacher in me, but frankly; hoping that people can be better isn't something we should ever give up on.

In any case if you don't like something I'm saying on twitter: block me. Mute me. Twitter has made all these glorious tools for a reason. And it's a lot better than getting upset about something I've said.